While everyone was pondering what they were gonna do for the holidays - what gifts they were gonna get/give, where they're doing for New Year's eve, what unknown bed they're gonna end up in on New Year's Day - I was making my New Year's resolution. Seriously.
Over the course of two weeks, beginning the week of Christmas, I thought about nothing more than what taska can I keep to fruition for an entire year. Every year I, like most people, try to come up with some unattainable task(s) disguised as must-dos for an entire calendar year - a resolution - and fail miserably.
Last year, it was save $5000...moving on. The year before that, it was be more assertive. I think my landlord found out because she quickly asked if I mind that she raise the rent, for which I responded, 'sure why not'. The point is, I'm not very good at resolutions, which falls in line with the billion or so people who make them. This year is different, I swear.
So I thought for those glorious two weeks, what are the criterias for picking a good resolution? So I came up with three things:
1. If it has anything to do with food, money, women, religion and character flaws, consider it a failure already.
I love cookies too much, can't save worth shit, I won't even bother with an explanation for women, no religion can save my soul at this point - I know where I'm headed - and my character was flawed from the minute I met my best friend Pat.
2. What do I get out of it in return?
You see, we all wake on January 1 thinking if we give up donuts or soda, sex, shopping, we'll feel better about ourselves. But do you really? Seriously? When was the last time eating a salad while drinking water after a long day of window shopping as your body aches from blue balls made anyone feel good? (I'm not sure what that translates to for the ladies but I'll get to that at a later date.)
3. This last one is key: It can't be hard.
They're resolutions for christ sake, not a bucket list. It's suppose to be fun; it's suppose to be attainable; and it's suppose to feel good. If you're looking for hard, work with these three:
1. Be unemployed for the next 358 days
2. Finally make that annoying girl/guy who's been hounding you for years to be in a relationship but you refuse to give them the time of day, your bf/gf. (We'll get to this topic at another time.)
3. Show up to work happy every day.
Now that we're all on same terms, here are my list of resolutions for 2009:
1. Begin blogging...duh?
2. Read 12 books for the year. 1/12 of the way there.
3. Fall in love - LOL
4. Answer the phone more - LOL
(Believe it or not, #3 is way easier than #4)
5. Be less shy - seriously, it's bad
6. And finally, watch less porn (Don't judge me...)
So what are some of the ridiculous resolutions that you all made this year?
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